I have always opined that, a marriage relationship may not survive on loving each other alone, but decisiveness. The decision to stay through the thick and thin.
Decisiveness!
Who, and Infact, what does not face a test? Everything is tested one way or the other.
Your marriage will surely be tested. May God help you to find out that your Spouse will stay through. I am sorry for you if yours decides to take off. And by the way, if a Spouse takes off during a testing time or trial, let that be your pointer to the fact that, 'they went out from among us, to make it obvious that they were not part of us all the while'
Now, the most important part of a lasting relationship has to be 'taking ownership of that relationship'.
That is when you have come to that conclusion that, this is my own Wife, or this is my own Husband.
Ownership!
More than half of the time there is crisis, someone is asking that demonic question, 'is this really mine?'
Then, katakata don gas... (Trouble begins)
You may realize that a marriage that is built on maturity, is far more relevant, reliable and durable than those childish ones, where someone must 'consult' with the outside before any decision is made.
I ask, 'how many people who married late, end up in separation or divorce? By 'late', I mean a fairly older age. That's a very low chance.
Let's define maturity to mean, understanding. Understanding why we are here, where we are going to and how we want to get there. With understanding, no one disrespects each other. Why? Because every move is for joint betterment. Deliberations never turn to arguments. Misunderstandings never result to crisis.
Understanding!
Would you believe that some human beings don't believe that they are accountable to their Spouse?
Yea! You should ask me that, because I asked also. 'What kind of marriage is that!'
And they even glory in their stand. That's the part defined by Kunle Soriyan as 'glorying in ignorance'.
If you do not believe and accept the simple, peaceful habit of accounting to your Spouse about where you go, what you do, why you want to do it, and when you want to do things.....then, ask yourself, 'are you okay?'
To some of us, you ain't okay!
Accountability.
Lastly, my Pastor was speaking today, Christmas Day 2015, that Lovers are Givers. How can you claim to love when you have given nothing? That's the simplest way to display irresponsibility.
You know some extremely stingy souls who claim to love. They are Liars not Lovers.
If you find something too big to give to your Spouse, something is wrong.
I know someone who had to demand a gift from the Spouse out of frustration. That is someone who gave all, until the realization that the other brought nothing for many years.
'Oya, pls go over to this store, buy me this pair of shoes'. Out of disgrace, the other had no choice.
If you must be taught how to show love, you've got a problem. You don't have love!
Now, I have said much and some may not even coordinate but, I have made simple thought plain to you, to help you start right or restart.
Freshers don't have to fall where Oldies fell...
Happy New 2016.
